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Author Topic: News of the day  (Read 35165 times)

Offline Chalk

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #480 on: January 23, 2017, 11:52:29 PM »
You're all wrong. They're called Flashy McFlashys.

Offline VMB-TAN

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #481 on: January 24, 2017, 01:40:31 AM »
Rene Artois from Allo Allo died.

Offline Craigyroo

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #482 on: January 24, 2017, 04:38:47 AM »
Rene Artois from Allo Allo died.

You got 'Allo 'Allo in the Netherlands? I loved the policeman, Officer Crabtree, turned out he was an underciver English man hence why he couldn't converse so well in the mock French language that they used on the show he had some great lines,

[René goes to the Gendarmerie (police station) as he continues to look for somewhere safe to hide from Denise Laroque. Watch this on YouTube]
René: Service! Is this a police station or a mortuary? (He rings the bell on the counter)
Crabtree: Would you please stop bonging the bill, or I shall lick you up for disturbing the puss.
René: Office Crabtree, it is I, René Artois (He removes his false beard). Will you lock me up, please?
Crabtree: Are you confessing to some cream?
René: Yes. Cream galore!
Crabtree: In that curse, you must fill in a foam. Here is a list of creams. I will tick what you have din. Murder?
René: No.
Crabtree: Minslaughter?
René: No.
Crabtree: Roop?
René: No.
Crabtree: Biglary?
René: No.
Crabtree: Biglary with minaces?
René: No.
Crabtree: Handbog snitching?
René: No.
Crabtree: Arsin?
René: What is "arsin"?
Crabtree: Setting fire to places.
René: Ah! My life is in danger, so I will confess to all of these things, as long as you lock me up.
Crabtree: I see. Unfortunately, all the sills are filled to caposity. Could you come back next woke?
René: Oh my God! Why do I pay rates?

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/'Allo_'Allo!
« Last Edit: January 25, 2017, 05:23:10 AM by Craigyroo »
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Offline VMB-TAN

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #483 on: January 24, 2017, 09:14:30 AM »
It was broadcasted here and loved every minute (thumbsup2) Crabtree was awesome and so was Lt Gruber and his little tanky :)

Offline Ferguson99

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News of the day
« Reply #484 on: January 24, 2017, 09:40:16 AM »
Hidden in Rene's basement is the  painting of the fallen Madonna  with the big boobies.

(One of the long running story gags of the whole series)


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Offline Alphapug

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #485 on: January 26, 2017, 06:54:23 PM »
Happy belated Australia Day! 🇦🇺 Maybe an Aussie can explain a joke to this clueless seppo.
Bloke calls a radio advice show.

Bloke: We were at the beach and a bee stung my Sheila right below her map of Tazzy and now we can't root!
Host: Bummer mate.
Bloke: Great idea! Thanks!


Offline Craigyroo

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #486 on: January 27, 2017, 03:55:46 AM »
Happy belated Australia Day! 🇦🇺 Maybe an Aussie can explain a joke to this clueless seppo.
Bloke calls a radio advice show.

Bloke: We were at the beach and a bee stung my Sheila right below her map of Tazzy and now we can't root!
Host: Bummer mate.
Bloke: Great idea! Thanks!

Translation Man: We were at the beach and a bee stung my Shelia (Australian slang for woman) right below her map of Tazzy (Australian coinage for the female pubic hair, based on Tasmania's triangular shape being similar to the pubic patch) and now we can't can't root (can't Procreate )
Host: Bummer mate (Hard luck sir) ["bloke" mistakes this for advice on giving "Shelia" anal sex i.e. 'Bum her']
Bloke: Great Idea! Thanks!

See? Much funnier when translated to the Queen's English.

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Offline silebyboy

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #487 on: January 27, 2017, 01:20:01 PM »
Now I get it. Thanks Craigy.

Offline Ferguson99

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #488 on: January 27, 2017, 01:46:43 PM »
Happy Australia Day....... you dirty bastards.

Outback legend, Mick Taylor

Offline Alphapug

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #489 on: January 27, 2017, 02:03:33 PM »
A gentleman and a scholar Craigy.

I'm beginning to suspect that Aussies may like to gently humor a simple Yank like myself. For example, one once gave me some advice on how to make a trip to Oz more memorable. He said that blokes in the pub are very welcoming of my type and would even buy me a special drink if I follow the secret protocol. He said I just need to find the friendliest bloke, who would have the largest Ned Kelly tattoo and put my hand on his shoulder. Then I should look him in the eye and say "Just chuck it in me dumper," and wink. He said the special drink was called "a bunch of fives."

Offline Chalk

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #490 on: January 29, 2017, 06:33:57 AM »
A gentleman and a scholar Craigy.

I'm beginning to suspect that Aussies may like to gently humor a simple Yank like myself. For example, one once gave me some advice on how to make a trip to Oz more memorable. He said that blokes in the pub are very welcoming of my type and would even buy me a special drink if I follow the secret protocol. He said I just need to find the friendliest bloke, who would have the largest Ned Kelly tattoo and put my hand on his shoulder. Then I should look him in the eye and say "Just chuck it in me dumper," and wink. He said the special drink was called "a bunch of fives."

Can confirm if you do that you will be given a bunch of fives.

However... (americans don't read the spoiler)
Show content for Hiden:
A bunch of fives isn't a drink but rather a punch. Probably to the face.

And yes, we Aussies love taking the piss out of Yanks. And that's not as weird as it sounds.

Offline convex airplane

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #491 on: February 04, 2017, 08:50:14 AM »
I don't know about you guys, but I think that Trump can be stopped by rolling out banners saying "Resist" & "Build bridges, not walls", or by kicking a few trash cans into the street. Throw in a bit of name calling and a few pink furry hats, that'll do it!

Meanwhile, the Romanians are doing it properly:


Offline Cheese

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #492 on: February 04, 2017, 11:20:36 AM »
Damn, those Romanians get around!


Offline Ferguson99

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #493 on: February 04, 2017, 02:41:10 PM »
Bout time you took some Europeans over over there........ Our island is close to bursting.

Ireland has already burst

Offline VMB-TAN

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #494 on: February 04, 2017, 02:59:48 PM »
About 100 people protested here against Trump... with signs saying things like: "I disagree with you, Mr. Trump". That's gonna hurt, I'll bet he is gone in no time.

Offline convex airplane

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #495 on: February 05, 2017, 01:38:09 PM »
Damn, those Romanians get around!

(Image removed from quote.)

Tja, the Romanians have a message & achievable goal. The Dems are stumbling blind.

Offline Cheese

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #496 on: February 05, 2017, 01:59:33 PM »

Offline Craigyroo

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #497 on: February 06, 2017, 07:56:03 AM »
Bout time you took some Europeans over over there........ Our island is close to bursting.

Ireland has already burst

Population density, area and population of internationally recognised countries and dependencies in Europe
Name   Population Density
(/km2)   Area
(km2)   Population
Monaco Monaco   18,369   1.98   36,371
Gibraltar Gibraltar (UK)   4,328   6.8   29,431
Vatican City Vatican City   2,045   0.44   900
Malta Malta   1,260   316   397,499
Guernsey Guernsey (UK)   990   78   64,587
Jersey Jersey (UK)   774   116   89,775
San Marino San Marino   455   61   27,730
Netherlands Netherlands   393   41,526   17,103,900
Belgium Belgium   337   30,510   11,007,020
United Kingdom United Kingdom   269   243,610   65,542,579
Germany Germany   233   357,021   81,799,600
Liechtenstein Liechtenstein   205   160   32,842
Italy Italy   192   301,230   60,665,625
Switzerland Switzerland   207   41,290   7,301,994
Luxembourg Luxembourg   173   2,586   512,000
Andorra Andorra   146   468   68,403
Moldova Moldova   131   33,843   4,434,547
Czech Republic Czech Republic   130   78,866   10,674,947
Isle of Man Isle of Man   129   572   73,873
Denmark Denmark   125   43,094   5,368,854
Poland Poland   124   312,685   38,625,478
Albania Albania   123   28,748   3,544,841
Cyprus Cyprus   117   9,248   803,147
Azerbaijan Azerbaijan   113   86,600   9,754,830
Slovakia Slovakia   111   48,845   5,422,366
France France   111   547,030   63,601,002
Portugal Portugal   109   92,391   10,617,999
Armenia Armenia   108   29,743   3,262,200
Hungary Hungary   108   93,030   10,075,034
Turkey Turkey   102   783,562   79,814,874
Serbia Serbia   97   88,361   7,498,001
Austria Austria   97   83,858   8,169,929
Slovenia Slovenia   95   20,273   2,048,847
Spain Spain   92   505,782   46,777,373
Greece Greece   81   131,940   11,606,813
Republic of Macedonia Macedonia   81   25,713   2,054,800
Romania Romania   80   238,391   19,043,767
Croatia Croatia   78   56,542   4,490,751
Bosnia and Herzegovina Bosnia and Herzegovina   78   51,129   3,964,388
Ukraine Ukraine   76   603,700   45,396,470
Georgia (country) Georgia   71   69,700   4,960,951
Bulgaria Bulgaria   69   110,910   7,621,337
Republic of Ireland Ireland   65   70,280   4,581,269
Belarus Belarus   50   207,600   10,335,382
Montenegro Montenegro   48   13,812   626,000
Lithuania Lithuania   44   65,200   2,881,020
Latvia Latvia   37   64,589   1,973,127
Faroe Islands Faroe Islands (Denmark)   33   1,399   46,011
Estonia Estonia   28   45,226   1,294,236
Sweden Sweden   20   449,964   9,515,744
Finland Finland   16   338,424   5,410,233
Norway Norway   13   385,252   5,033,675
Russia Russia   8   17,075,400   143,100,000
Iceland Iceland   3   103,001   320,060
Total   31.56   26,680,676   842,033,572


Ireland is a lot less densley populated than ther UK
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Offline convex airplane

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #498 on: February 07, 2017, 02:42:39 PM »
Not sure what else you want.

Logic & consistency.

Is the ban dumb? Hell yes. But I can understand why people are feeling a little "taken for granted" when thousands of liberals will get out on the street for a few travel restrictions, but don't protest deals like TTIP or CETA (I'm pretty sure most Americans haven't even heard about these two trade deals). This trade policy is what fuels people like Trump, Le Pen, Wilders, etc., but Democrats are far too many shortsighted to see this. They believe that for "geopolitical" reasons, trade deals like TTIP/CETA are needed, but they completely ignore that workers' rights get thrown out the window & foreign investors gain special legal privileges. 

I mean, for fuck sakes, yes, protest the travel restriction, but can you really not see why people voted for (and continue to support) Trump? Dems are willing to get out on the street so that 7 nationalities can once again travel freely, but they plow full steam ahead with neoliberal shit like TPP, TTIP, CETA & TiSA.  For the lack of a better term: it is "aristocratic (or perhaps even privileged) protesting".

It's a shitty thing to say & I sound like a cock, but it needs to be said.

America is in dire need of a new left movement.

Offline Cheese

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Re: News of the day
« Reply #499 on: February 07, 2017, 05:18:39 PM »
These protests are not organized by the democrats, these are normal citizens upset with a president who is either borderline retarded or a manipulative liar.

 Like you said, no one knows what the hell the TPP is. Not even Trump supporters. All they saw was "trade" and "China" and Fox News saying it was bad. Maybe if Republicans actually started an information campaign about why these deals are bad for America more people would listen. But they didn't have to. They can just cry havoc and millions Americans will vote for whoever says they will get their jobs back. Yes, the Dems dropped the ball with the blue collar demographic but that is a complaint against the party which is clearly ran by idiots. You have to remember that many leftists DID try to get a proper liberal as the Democrat nominee but were blocked by party politics.